A warrior who fought till the end

I lost my childhood friend to Covid-19 on June 15. He was only 25. As I look back, my childhood memories are filled with times spent with him, Lianmuansang Valte, or Sangboi as he was lovingly called. An active, curious and naughty (as most children are expected to be) yet extremely innocent, Sangboi was my partner in crime and when we were together, we would often find ourselves getting in trouble with our parents because of our mischievous pranks.  I can recall the reactions of some aunties from Church who thought we were the most mischievous and naughty children they had ever seen! It is true that our mischief had gotten almost notoriety like status, but in no way was Sangboi a disobedient child to his parents or peers. On the contrary, he was gentle, upright and a person of integrity -- traits and qualities he kept till the day his journey on earth came to an end.

My real association with him began in 2001, when Sangboi’s dad (Pa Vungzamuan Valte) was posted in New Delhi. Sangboi’s parents and my parents had known each other much earlier – so, we were family friends. I would even dare say we were more like family than friends. Every Sunday, my younger sister and I would be excited to go to church as it would be followed by visits to their house. We would either go to their house, or they would come over for dinner. Sometimes, after a lot of pleading and convincing, our parents would even let us sleep over and we would talk and play till late at night. Even our parents got the idea that it would be a futile attempt to try and force us to sleep, so instead they let us enjoy, laugh and play till we got to the point of exhaustion that no one had to tell us to hit the pillows!

In September of 2003, my father had sadly passed away. I was only ten and Sangboi was barely eight. Those were really confusing times for me, my sister and especially hard for my mother. Sangboi and his family were always there to support us in any way they possibly could. I even remember Sangboi telling me, “Pa’Rem (how he called my father, which literally translates to Uncle Rem) is in a better place now U’Kevin. You need not worry too much. I know this because my mom and dad told me.” Sangboi, who was two years my junior, had the maturity to say such calm and soothing words which had a profound effect on me. We were still two very young boys who did not understand much about life and death at that time, but when I think of it now, I’m so glad that I had a friend in Sangboi who somehow understood the loss I felt and empathized with me when I needed the most. That was when I found out about another personality of my friend, my brother Sangboi. He was a kind-hearted guy, and even though we were very naughty as kids, he never liked to get into any kind of arguments or fights and rarely found himself in such situations.

A couple of years later, Sangboi’s dad got transferred to several cities in the country; Shillong, Kolkata and Lucknow. It would be a good few years before they eventually got posted back to Delhi NCR. Finally in 2018, I got a message from Momoi (Sangboi’s younger sister) on Instagram saying, “U’Kevin! My dad got transferred to Noida!”. I was very excited to meet my childhood friends in person again after so many years. The pictures on Facebook and Instagram just weren't enough. Also, Sangboi was not really all that active on social media so we kind of lost touch in between, but I was excited to meet him again nonetheless. I was wondering, how much would he have changed? I was going to find out very soon if he had at all.

When I finally met him in December of 2018, the first thing I said to him was, “You’ve gained weight.” He responded by saying, “You’re not so thin either.” After that, both of us burst out laughing and hugged. We almost instantly hit it right off and picked up from where we last left. Sangboi was a much more mature version of himself now. He was also soft spoken and a good listener. We caught up on a lot of the things that had happened in our lives and even shared our plans for the future. Sangboi was a bright student in school through college, earning many medals and awards in the field of academics (particularly in science). I had a feeling he was going to be very successful in life and felt elated for him.

We got to meet only once after that in 2019 on his parents’ 25^th wedding anniversary. His parents had organized a celebratory meet at a banquet hall where many families and friends got together. I noticed how everyone enjoyed Sangboi’s company that day. He had grown into a competent man and his pleasant demeanor suggested that he was indeed a gentleman. Some aunties even recalled his younger days when he had been a naughty child and we all laughed and joked about it. I also noticed that Sangboi had grown very close to his mother, whom I called Nu Kimte (“Nu” meaning mother and “Kimte” her name.) He was a mommy’s boy and I would poke fun at him about it, but he didn’t seem to mind it at all. Instead, he smiled and said, “Who doesn’t love his own mother, man? I’m not ashamed of it, neither should you be!” These words would ring in my head two years from that day.

2020 was a gloomy and uneventful year and the nation was on a complete lockdown. It was a sad year for thousands of people, who lost many of their loved ones due to the Coronavirus. But it would be in 2021, during mid-May when I received the news that Sangboi and his family were hit by this deadly virus. Sangboi’s dad and sister thankfully were able to recover from the virus at home. But his mom and himself had to be admitted and taken care of in a hospital because of the nature of the virus, which had mutated and caused complications in their lungs and other parts of the bodies. I prayed to God every day for their speedy recovery, but as the saying goes, God works in mysterious ways and we may never truly understand His ways.

On the morning of 26^th May 2021, we got the terrible news of Nu’Kimte, Sangboi’s mom succumbing to her illness. I was devastated by this news, because I looked to her as my own mother, someone I was very close to and could share my thoughts and any of my problems with. I couldn’t even imagine how it must have been for their family. I tried to hold it back, but I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I messaged Sangboi’s sister that we were all praying for their family, and that she must remain strong. She thanked me in her reply for always remembering her family. She even said we would catch up again after her brother Sangboi got better and was discharged from the hospital. But I could sense the loss, the void left behind and the sadness she was suffering and going through. I mustered up some optimism and I replied back saying Sangboi would pull through and we would definitely meet again sooner than later. I was going to be wrong.

All this time, Sangboi was in the hospital and his health wasn’t particularly improving. He was fighting hard, and was adamant on not getting ventilator support for oxygen. A true warrior! But things got worse and after his oxygen levels got too low and he lost consciousness, they finally put him on a ventilator bed. Sangboi fought hard, till the very end. The coronavirus test result came negative but there was too much damage already done to his body.

On 15^th June 2021, not even a month after Nu’Kimte’s passing, Sangboi, my best friend, someone I considered my own brother, departed from this world. I was speechless. Numbed. All the times we had spent together, during our childhood and the last couple of years, quickly flashed before my eyes. Then the tears started falling. I couldn’t believe what was happening, but such is the harsh reality of life. But later, I told and tried to console myself by saying, “My dear friend Sangboi. We all love you. We will all miss you. But maybe you loved your mother so much that you didn't want her waiting on the other side for too long. Even death itself couldn’t keep you both apart! And now in death, you both have eternal life on the other side. I will really miss you, my brother. Be there when we get there too! Au revoir!”